The Parking Lot

Let me just preface what I'm about to share with you by letting you know that there are few things in this world that surprise me anymore. I'm married and I have four kids so I think I've seen just about everything. Now that you know this about me, let me set up for you the scene that took place last night in the Target parking lot. Yes......., I know, for those of you who have read any of my blogs you know that I frequent bargain stores.I can't resist a good deal. Even if it is on stuff like 10lbs of generic bologna. Like I've said in the past, don't judge me. I digress.

Ok, so it's about 8:30 last night and I finally leave Target which was actually not as horrific an experience as I thought it was going to be. As I'm scanning the parking lot to try and remember where I left my car this time, I notice a couple with a shopping cart full of goodies on the way to their car. They looked happy. Like they were finally done Christmas shopping and didn't have to go into another stinking store until after Christmas!!! Do I sound bitter because I'm not done shopping?


After about a minuet or so I finally spot the aisle where I'm parked and head for it when all of a sudden I hear a loud scream. It was the happy couple! What could possibly ruin being done with Christmas shopping ?!! I turned to see what was going on and watched a man backing out of a parking spot directly into the wife and their shopping cart, but it gets better. After he hits her he straightens out his car, pulls back into the parking spot, backs up again, hits her again then pulls into his parking spot nice and straight, gets out of his car and goes to walk into the store. Now I'm thinking, this man obviously knows he hit this woman, I mean she's not bleeding but he hit a human being!!!!!!!!!! So the husband goes after the guy and says, "Hey !@$#% hole, where do you think you're going, don't you realize you just hit my wife?!!!!!"To which the driver replies, wait for it, wait for it, " Well !@#$% hole yourself, your wife shouldn't have been behind my car!" What?????????? I really couldn't believe what I had just heard, but nothing could have prepared me for what was coming out of this idiots mouth next. He looks at the husband, who's about ready to charge at him and with a staright face says" Who do you think you're yellin' at and what the hell are the two of you doin' walkin around in a parking lot anyway? You're just stupid you two shouldn't be walkin' around in a parking lot!!" I guess what he said stunned the husband just as much as it did me because he just stood there in shock staring at this moron as he walks into Target. Who hits a person and then blames them for it? Who does that? Heaven forbid anyone should walk around in a parking lot, who walks around in a parking lot to get to their car anymore ? That argument makes about as much sense as me telling my four year old to flush the toilet after she's done to which she replies, " but I can't reach the sink!"HUH? So if I say, you hit my wife, the obvious response should not be, "Well why are you walkin' around in a parking lot!"

All that to say I guess there are still a few things left in this world that surprise me.

Wal-Mart People

So it's that most magical time of year again when I wind up going to Wal-Mart at least 10 times a week and at the most obscene hours, they're open until midnight for those of you who didn't know. The bright spot about going though isn't the reasonably priced merchandise, no no, and it's not the smell of McDonald's french fries that fills the air, it's the boost in my self confidence that I get by the time I leave!! No matter how many times I see it happen I am always amazed by the absolute stupidity of some of the people who walk through those doors. I've decided that there should be an IQ requirement in order to shop there. The self check out stations. That's all I have to say, well not really, but you know what I mean. I cannot tell you how many times I have stood on line behind some nut bag who keeps making the help light flash on the check stand because she's scanned her deodorant 15 times and can't understand why her total is $35 when all she bought is that one stick of deodorant. Or the lady that has two cart fulls of stuff and she just couldn't bring herself to wait on line for a checker so she goes to the self check out where the signs clearly read 15 items or less, why? Why? But my personal favorite is "Why won't this scan lady". You know who she is. She's the one who scans something and then stands there with it in her hand, staring at the screen that's clearly flashing please place item in bag and as she proceeds to scan her next item with her current item still in her hand can't figure out what went wrong. Oh how I have longed to punch someone at Wal- Mart self check out station. Here's the thing though, I keep going to the self check out station. I guess maybe I have faith in humanity and I'm hoping that one day I might wind up in line behind someone with whom I don't have to hold back the urge for violence with. One can dream. Oh well, until the bar gets raised on who they let into Wal-Mart I guess I"ll just settle for a little comic relief and anger management.